Family is rarely one big event. It is the same table set again and again, the same voices arguing about small things, and the slow way we learn each other's habits. I notice these things more as time passes, and I want to write them down before they blur. Some of our gatherings are loud and crowded. Others are quiet, with one or two people in the kitchen and the rest of us drifting in and out. Both kinds of evening stay with me, and both show me something about how we keep hold of one another.